Angels Round About You, to Bear You Up

Today I had a tender mercy of the Lord take place in my life. As I was thinking about things that I need to do I came across a blog, from a former addict to pornography. His blog and his story really impacted me. So I reached out to him looking for help. I sent him an email asking him if he would be willing to help me. He responded so kindly and said that he would be willing. I am now accountable to him, and I know that he will help me. He told me "When you reach out, you bless two lives", and its so so true. The moment that I reached out to him, I allowed the Lord to work through him to help me. I am so excited to be back on my feet and try again. I wish you all a wonderful Sabbath!

- Ryan

PS. Here is the URL to my friends blog! Go take a look!! http://www.12steplds.com/p/sayings.html

Get up, and Finish the Race

Well, it's been a while since I have written an entry. It has been a very very busy week for me, with work, school, and homework. I tend to sleep little, and never have extra time. I've found that in the days where I think I am doing really well, and that I have things under control, that is when I fall. Today, I failed to get my scripture study in. And because I didn't have that today, I fell. I feel sick. I was doing so well. I was feeling the spirit. And then, boom. Its all gone. I feel like I have let many people down, myself, my family, my bishop, and my quorum. And I feel terrible. It's a powerful lesson that shows that one simple thing can have such a big impact, something as simple as reading your scriptures for 30 minutes in the morning can have such a great influence on your day.

Today I fell. But tomorrow I get up. And I finish the race.

- Ryan

The Power of the Temple

Good morning everyone! Sorry I didn't write a post the last 2 days, i've been really busy, but that seems to be a good thing! I have been able to stay clean and not even have the urges or desire to look at pornography. I feel the spirit in my life, and I feel good, and clean. I am so grateful for the atonement and the ability that we have to change. This morning I was able to go to the temple! And boy was it a special experience! I am so so so grateful for the temple. As I was walking there, it was snowing, and I was listening to some church music and I felt the spirit so strongly. When I walked through the doors, I could feel the spirit of the Lord there. I knew that he had walked those halls. I knew that it was his home. HOLINESS TO THE LORD, HOUSE OF THE LORD. I am planning on going 3 times a week, Tuesday mornings, Thursday mornings, and Saturday mornings, and I just know that if I keep going to the temple, I will be able to conquer this temptation that I have. I love this Gospel!

Till next time!

- Ryan

The Sabbath Day

Happy Sabbath everyone!

I am so very grateful for the Sabbath, for the opportunity that we all have to go to church, and participate in the sacred ordinance of the Sacrament. As I have been in the repentance process, the sacrament has become much more meaningful to me. The atonement has become more real. I know that it was not a general thing that Christ did, but rather, it was something that was very, very personal. Christ spent time in the Garden of Gethsemane, for ME. I am so very grateful for my Savior. I know that he lives. I know that he loves me. Today, as I partake of the sacrament I will be praying and asking my Heavenly Father for extra strength this week to be able to overcome my temptations, seeing that this next week I will be able to enter into the Holy Temple again. I am so excited to be able to walk through those doors, and do so worthily. I hope you all have an amazing Sabbath day! I also wish to hear from you, and hear about your spiritual experiences!

Till next time!

- Ryan

Someone to Make You Better

I had another successful day yesterday. As many of you struggling with some sort of bad habit, or addiction have found that if you keep yourself busy that is when you are able to overcome temptations most. So, I have been able to keep myself busy these last few days, and it is really helping me keep my mind on appropriate thoughts, and keep myself clean from anything that I shouldn't be doing.
      Have you guys ever met someone who just makes you want to be a better person? I have, and having an example like that really helps me think twice about my actions. Yesterday, I was at work, and I met a co-worker who is really pretty, really nice, and active in the gospel. So I decided to ask her on a date, and she said yes! So we are going to go out tonight, and I'm really excited. In the past I have been really afraid of getting into a relationship because I knew what pornography could do to it. But now, as I am kicking this habit to the curb, I have started to see girls differently, I see them as a daughter of God, and I desire a Godly relationship with them. I feel that being in a relationship where we are both trying to get back to our Heavenly Father can help me overcome this trial that I have. Obviously this is just going to be the first date, but you never know where it could lead!
     I hope that I can find more people in my life that make me want to be better, and I also desire to be someone who makes others want to be better. That will be the goal for this next week!

till next time!

-- Ryan

Today Was a Success!

Hey everyone! I hope that you all had a great day! I for one had a really good day! I was able to wake up early and get the rest of my homework done, and then I was able to have a really good scripture study. I decided that I was going to study the topics of the 12 step program, but do it by studying every scripture that is in the topical guide, and in the "Guide to study the scriptures" (Only found in Spanish Scriptures). I also was able to watch the ARP video that goes along with the first step which is Honesty (See video here https://addictionrecovery.lds.org/videos?lang=eng). As I studied those scriptures, I was able to feel the spirit teach me that honesty can go a long way. To be honest is what will get us places in life. I believe that people who have admitted that they struggle with something find that the hardest person to be honest with is themselves. That is how it was for me. But, once I finally admitted to myself that I had a problem and that I needed help, that is when I began the journey to freedom. I am so grateful to my Savior for helping me have a successful day, and I look forward to many more!

Today I Change My Life

Hi there! My name is Ryan. I am 20 years old, I am in my first year of college, and I struggle with pornography. Today is the day that I begin my journey to recovery. I have felt the effects that pornography has had on my life, and I hate it. I know that it is a trap that is given by our adversary to try to keep us fro our eternal goal, which is eternal life with our Father in Heaven. I have talked with my bishop and I am excited to have the Holy Ghost with me again. I think that one thing that scared me the most about this problem is the effects that it has on family relationships. I have heard of many cases of ruined relationships because of this problem. I do not want to be one of those stories. All around me I see happy couples, and inside I know that if I keep this up, I will not be able to have one of those relationships. So, Today is the day that I change my life, and do so with the help of my savior, Jesus Christ. I hope that some of you can join me on this journey!

​- Ryan